Hot Dog

So I spent what felt like an hour on the phone arguing with a producer about a client of mine,
she had a kind of small part in a film he had done and now he was all, oh, she was so difficult
to work with, and I took a deep breath and said, she told me that she had to do a couple of
scenes a couple of times because one of your stars had flubbed some lines. And he said, yes,
but, and I said, so it wasn't her fault, and he said, but she was difficult and I said, I heard that
your star tried to blame her for him missing his lines... and long story short, he said, oh... ok, she
was all right, and I said so give her another chance, and he said, oh... ok, ok tell her to come
by tomorrow, she can pick up her script...

So I called her three or four times before she answered the phone, she said she was out
doing laundry, and I told her, good luck, I got you the part, just make sure you stop by the
same place tomorrow and pick up your script, and for God's sake just smile and say thank
you, say thank you and leave. No remarks or BS or faces, okay?

And she said, ok, thank, I love you.

She loves me. Hurray for me. It pays my bills.

And... one of my best clients calls as I am about to leave and says, hey, I just got back into
town, I'll be there in twenty minutes.

So I had 20 minutes to grab some lunch and bring it back to the office, grab an extra bag of
chips or something in case he wanted something to pick at. So I closed the door to the office
and stuck the "be back in 20 minutes" note on the door and headed off to the deli: and today I
was feeling like my idea of a chicken salad special, chicken salad on rye with some chopped
swiss and some chopped corned beef mixed in. To each his own.

"Hey"

"Hey?" I looked to my left and saw some schlep smiling at me. "Got a quarter to spare, pal?"
he said and I said, "no, didn't bring any change with me but if you catch me on the way back, I
might have a quarter to spare."

Just another of of those guys you see shuffling around the area, shabby and usually broke and
looking for either change that would add up to a cheap bottle at the nearest liquor store or --

"Hey?"

"So what do you need a quarter for? Trying to get back to Astoria?" I said and he said, "I got
15 cents, another 25 cents and I can get a hot dog, come on, gimme a little help, pal, I need
something to eat."

"I don't have any change with me, I told you. Catch me on the way back and maybe," and he
said, "ok, anything you say."

He proceeded to alternately ask other passerbys if they had any spare change and then
hurried to catch up to me.

"Yeah, I need something to eat," he said. "I just need like another 20 cents to get a hot dog,
the guy up the corner charges extra for kraut, but there's a guy the next block down gives it for
free," he said, and I finally said...

Nothing, because he was one of those many locals schleps and characters you'd see around,
and you knew he could get a meal at the Salvation Army or one of those places so it was a
good guess that he mostly wanted to get himself a bottle of Thunderbird or something like
that.

He almost stopped and pulled a newspaper from the nearly full trash can. "Look at that," he
said, "I always knew he was no good." He tossed the paper back in the trash and caught up
with me.

"You see this?" he said to me and he pulled up a kind of grimy cuff to show me that he had a
cheap watch on his wrist. "Belonged to my father, but it doesn' work anymore."

No doubt. Probably found it in the trash somewhere.

"When it worked I coulda hocked it and gotten a room for a few weeks, but it doesn' work
anymore. He's dead a long time. Momma, too. We didn' have much even then." He looked at
the wristwatch, shook his wrist a few times as if that would make anything happen, he held it to
his ear for a few seconds, then shrugged. "Yeah, belonged to my granfather, and he left it to
my father, and he left it to me. A classic timepiece."

So I said, "Look, let me go in here and get my lunch, you want a hot dog, I'll get you a hot dog,
ok?"

I remember a cartoon, two dogs chasing Sylvester the cat, and the small dog was all "Hey Alf,
Hey Alf, Hey Alf" and that was this guy, not drunk, not stoned, but very hey Hey HEY, kind of a
rapid time talking, almost too fast, you could almost see him bobbing up and down with
excitement as he spoke.

So I went in the deli, my dirty lovely old deli, owner had been there at least 25 years, had a few
autographed pictures of some celebrities behind him when he stood at the cash register.
Cash register only went up to two dollars, that's how old it was. "So you gotta bring a bum to
hang around my store?" the owner said. He was in his usual mood. I told him what I wanted,
then added, "and give me a hot dog with some kraut on it." Yeah, sure, anything for you, he
said without a word.

I glanced at the paper on the counter for a few moments. Yep, crooked politician got caught. Could
get jail, too, if he wasn't making deals with the right people.

I took my order and paid for it, went out side. The schlep was about ten feet away, trying to
grub up change off an occasion passerby. He followed me as I walked back to the office for a
few blocks until I finally said, "look here." I showed him a quarter in one hand and the hot dog
in the other and said, "pick one."

He suddenly shook his head, more of a twitch at being giving an unexpected decision to
make.  He moved his hands about in front of his chest for a moment, but he finally reached for
the hot dog.

He ate the hot dog as he followed me, noisy as it was I could almost hear him eating between "thank you" and "thank you."

About a block and a half before I got back to the office, he'd finished, and he put his hand on
my arm and said, "thank you, pal, you're a prince," and I said, "so leave me alone, I have to get
back to work." He said "thank you" again and was about to walk away when I said, "here," and
gave him the quarter. "So go get your liquor."

He smiled and walked away. Meanwhile, upstairs, my client was stinking up the hallway outside
my office with a cigar when I got off the elevator. You ignore it if it's worth it.